I opened my email this morning to a message from a reader who wanted to know what dating a Fijian woman is like. Well, I guess it is a good thing that I do have some experience in that area. In short, dating a Fijian does have some benefits but it also has some limitations. All in all, it comes down to perferance and if you can live in a country without dating and sex or not.
I say that because I have lived in a country that I am repelled by the women as far as dating would go. I have no desire to date a local in any way. I have dated Filipino women before and it was a mistake. It is one of those mistakes that I choose to never repeat. I say that to say this: just because you happen to be living in a country does not mean you have to date a local woman. In fact, many people have better experiences by NOT dating locals!
In the context of Fiji, I would say that overall my dating experience was mostly positive. I dated American, Samoan, Fijian, Filipino and even a Canadian once! I would say of them the Fijian experience was only second to dating Southern belles from the deep south in the United States.
Benefits of dating a Fijian woman
Kava! Kava! Kava! The most important in life when you are in Fiji is getting the best kava and if you are dating a native Fijian woman, she is going to know where to get the best of the best root. This is especially true if her family is originally from Kadavu.
They also tend to not mind endless night of driving grog around the bowl. This is something that most women in America or Australian would not be cool with and think there are better things to do then drink some sour mixture and clap their hands afterwards.
Connected family. Fiji is a pretty small place and it is ran by village life. As a byproduct of that, the people tend to be very connected within their families. While this can be a double edged sword, it can be very useful. This is especially true if you need something done. If they can’t help you, they will probably know someone who can.
This will also open opportunities for you to meet other people that you would struggle to meet otherwise. I was able to meet several people in the tourism sector in the Pacific Harbour because my girlfriend at the time went to school with them and she saw them my blog.
Village Access. As someone who travels a lot, I wanted to get inside the villages and see life in Fiji away from the plastic tourism tours. In order to do that, it can be quite a challenge. However, having a girlfriend that is Fijian helps. They all have a village someplace and they all know people to help you get into the village and experience it.
In both cases, they were able to help me visit the village. One of them was for a week and the other was for a little over five weeks. There is no way that I could have been able to go to Rewa Delta and find some hidden village without dating a woman that was originally from the village and had a house that her father built there still!
Limitations of dating a Fijian!
Green Card hunters. Sadly, Fijian women can be like Filipina (ok, not quite that bad) women when it comes to see men as their ticket to America, the land of milk and honey. It is not quite the walking ATM view of white skin that exist in the Philippines but it can make you question some motives. I actually had a Fijian woman tell me point blank that she wanted to date me to go to the United States!
This is the biggest challenge to dating a woman while in Fiji. They seem to have this obsession with leaving the islands and going to the mainland or Australia. It does not make sense to many of us looking in from the outside but it is how they view life.
Super submissive nature. While many men talk about looking for submissive women, they do not mean this submissive. I found Fijian women take the submissiveness to extreme levels. This is partly due to religious views of many but also due to some cultural challenges that this article is not the venue to discuss. Overly demanding men that see women as of having nothing to say or do would have a heyday in Fiji.
I tend to get very annoyed at the submissive side of the women in Fiji. They were slow to speak and was also fearful to challenge anything. This is very hard for me because a discussion where everyone agrees with at all times is pretty hard to keep going. Personally, I found this to be the biggest challenge.
Martial Status. While this is a global problem, Fiji does present a special issue. Many people in the country feel pressured from an early age to get married and have children young. What happens is many people end up separated in a few years…with children and can’t even get a divorce. In fact, it takes over a year to even be able to file for the divorce if they can afford the lawyer fees.
It is not uncommon for a woman to tell you that she is single or divorced when she is really just separated for many years. One woman I meet turned out to be still legally married but they had not spoke in several years. This presents some moral issues for both parties as well as it could present some legal issues if the husband determines he does not like the fact some white guy is with his ex-wife (separated wife) This is not to mention the issue that Fijian men can be very short fused and act before thinking.
I hope that answered your question!